Saturday, February 27, 2016

Some things that have happened

I would like to relate to you two stories, which in any other circumstance besides the circumstance of my particular life would probably be worthy of some elaboration and probably useful in furthering the plot.

But alas, this is life, and all we have are stories from it. And so often those stories are just that. Some things that have happened, and there is no great meaning or purpose in them, except to be told.

1.

While in line for the pasta option at my college cafeteria, I cared too much about whether the juice from the green beans would run into the garlic bread, and thus forgot to grab silverware from the receptacle at the beginning of the line.

Because of this, I received my plate of food and had to promptly turn around, looking for an opening in the line in which I could sneak a fork. So I did, cutting ungraciously in front of a kind gentleman, saying "excuse me, I just need to grab a fork."

In quick succession from my politeness... I grabbed a fork while the guy waited for me to get out of his way. This fork, however, wasn't eager to leave the basket, and as I grabbed it, it took with it a second fork. I had no grip on this second fork,  and watched in slow motion as I realized that the unwanted utensil was surely going to tumble to the ground and embarrass me in front of this nice young man whom I had already inconvenienced. This was simply unacceptable to my slow-motion processing skills. So in a rare moment of grace and agility, I turned my fork-grabbing motion into a fork-saving motion, and caught the extra utensil without a fuss. No one applauded.

2.

Once upon a time, this horrific thing named snapchat was invented. It is a smartphone application with which you can send people pictures that last for 10 seconds or less and you can add messages, or draw on them, or whatever. It is my favorite app, as much as I wish it weren't.

So I love snapchat. This means that I know it pretty well. And the other day, I was walking down the stairs behind this guy I didn't know, and he had his phone out. In my peripherals, I saw what I knew from experience to be a selfie-taker. I looked up just in time to see his face looking at me from the screen of his phone, posing for a selfie. And I was TOTALLY in the picture. Before he snapped this glorious photograph, however, I tried my darnedest to get out of the way, and missed my chance by a mile.

"Darn it!" I said as the guy turned around. I tried to remove the look of panic from my face, but it didn't matter anyway because it was ON HIS PHONE. IMMORTALIZED. He chuckled and apologized, but I am fairly certain he sent the snapchat. And someone got to see my goofy face for a grand total of ten seconds. Maybe they even screenshot it. Who knows.

(this is the second time this has happened to me. this is how much snap-chatting happens on campus. maybe I am just hyper-aware of it.)

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The end.